Refining my values

Noticing the nuanced shifts

I recently started Kate Weiler’s Reflect:Recentre programme. I signed up for this as it grabbed me at just the right time. I’ve been feeling a bit lost and without focus and direction this year. I’m hoping the programme can help me centre Joy’s work around what I love the most and give me a ‘north star’ to move towards.

The first session was focused on values. I did a values exercise for the first time about 4 years ago. I worked with a great coach, Cat Horey, just as I was transitioning from Snook to NHS Digital. I found my values came to me pretty easily at the time and while I wouldn’t say I’ve fully centred my life around them since, they do pop into my mind when I’m making decisions or feeling untethered. 

My values in 2019 were:

• Impact: The drive to change things for the better for people. 

• Vulnerability: Being open and honest with people and leaning into things that feel challenging.

• Belonging: Feeling a part of something. 

• Adventure: Travelling and seeing the world. Trying new things. 

• Sanctuary: Space to feel grounded, space to recharge. 

I have to admit I didn’t write definitions of them at the time but this is what came to mind when I listed out the words just now.

When I was first asked to revisit this activity I was skeptical that things would have changed. Surely I was still the same person, despite a global pandemic and a complete career pivot?! So I leaned into my vulnerability and did the exercise again. 

Again things seemed to come pretty easily. Maybe I’m getting a better sense of who I am now I’m older?! 

What was interesting was the nuanced shifts that have happened.

You’ll see from the image that 3 of my 5 values have shifted and 2 have remained. I also grabbed an overarching value. Simply because I was so drawn to this word that I couldn’t not include it. However, I don’t see happiness as a value, I see it as a state of being that will result if I honour my values. It’s also the only thing I ever wanted to aim for when I was younger. 

It was these 3 nuanced shifts that I found interesting:

• From impact, to purpose

  The interesting aspect of this shift was the move away from something external to myself to something deeply internal. I think this is probably because I’m now self employed. I’m also in a place where I’m really longing for greater clarity around this.

• From vulnerability, to honesty

  Honestly feels 100% me and I’m curious as to why it wasn’t one of my values before. Maybe because I was deep in my Brene Brown crush phase at the time?! I think another thing fuelling this shift is where I am personally at the moment and feeling like I have a lower appetite for putting myself out there.

• From belonging, to connection

  I think this is linked to my move into freelance aswell. It was also the one that interested me the most as the lack of belonging is something I’ve really struggled with since working solo. Reframing what I need as connection is a helpful shift to help me see that I don’t need to be part of an organisation to get the connection I need. It helps put the focus back on my network and a more mutli-faceted approach.

Sanctuary and adventure remained. My love of travel is such a big part of me that I never remember it as a hobby when people ask. I think that’s partly because I just think this is something everyone loves. I need to recognise how core this is to me being me.

I think sanctuary will probably always be there in some from too. Because I’m an introvert I’m always going to need recharge space and that cocoon feeling.

I found this exercise really useful and invite you all to do the same. I’m also interested in hearing from others who work with values and hear how you practically weave them into how you live and ensure you’re always staying true to them. Hit reply and share your experiences.